Love and Dating with Asperger’s: Understanding Their Unique Expressions of Affection

dating someone with aspergers

In any relationship, the key ingredients for success are respect and positive vibes towards each other. These elements are super important. Without them, relationships can’t grow or might even fall apart. Research published in Social-Personality Psychology shows that feeling understood and cared for by your partner makes a big difference in how happy and secure you feel in the relationship. This is especially true when one of the partners has Asperger’s Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum.

People with Asperger’s uniquely see the world. This can sometimes make relationships a bit tricky, as they might struggle with things that come more easily to others, like small talk or picking up on certain social cues. Therefore, if you’re dating someone with Asperger’s, it’s really important to learn how they experience love and communication. 

Is it Possible to Connect with Someone Who Has Asperger’s Syndrome?

Yes, connecting with someone who has Asperger’s syndrome is very possible. Just like anyone else, people with this diagnosis want and can have friendships, romantic relationships, and close bonds with others. The main thing is to understand how they see the world differently.

Asperger’s syndrome is part of the autism spectrum and affects how individuals understand and interact with people around them. People with Asperger’s might find social situations and expressing their feelings a bit more challenging than others. They also tend to have specific interests, enjoy having routines, and might not always get social hints that seem obvious to others.

Even though these differences exist, many people with Asperger’s have happy and healthy relationships. A piece of research highlighted in the Behavioral Sciences Journal shows that with support and mutual understanding, individuals on the autism spectrum, including those with Asperger’s, can enjoy lasting relationships just like anybody else. This shows that having Asperger’s doesn’t stop someone from living a normal life when it comes to relationships. It just means both partners may need to put in some extra effort to understand each other.

How do people with Asperger’s think?

Here’s a simplified list to help understand how people with Asperger’s might think or process things:

  • Focus on Details: They often pay attention to small details others might overlook.
  • Routine Lovers: They usually follow a set routine or schedule.
  • Direct Communication: They prefer clear and straightforward talk without hidden meanings or implications.
  • Deep Interests: They often have intense interests in specific topics.
  • Literal Interpretations: They tend to take things said to them very literally.
  • Social Challenges: Reading social cues or understanding unwritten social rules can be difficult.
  • Unique Problem Solvers: They might approach problems and solutions in creative or less typical ways.

Having a Relationship with Someone Who Has Asperger’s Syndrome

It’s absolutely possible to have a happy and strong relationship with someone who has Asperger’s Syndrome. Understanding both what they’re great at and what they might find difficult is really important. Seeing the world from their point of view can make your relationship even more special.

What It’s Like to Date Someone with Asperger’s

Dating someone with Asperger’s might look a little different, but it’s just as rewarding. Here’s what you might see:

  • They’re Very Honest: They tend to speak their mind clearly and honestly, which means you always know where you stand with them.
  • They Like Routine: You might find that your dates or activities together have a pattern they enjoy. Being okay with this routine matters a lot.
  • Interesting Conversations: They often have specific things they’re very interested in, so you might learn a lot about a new topic.
  • Be Clear When You Talk: They might not pick up on hints, so saying what you mean directly can help avoid misunderstandings.
  • Need for Personal Space: Sometimes, they might want some time alone. Respecting this need can make your relationship stronger.

How They Show Love

People with Asperger’s might show their feelings in unique ways:

  • Doing Things for You: They might do helpful things for you as a way to show they care.
  • Spending Time Together: Choosing to spend a lot of time with you, especially doing things you both like, is their way of showing love.
  • Sharing What They Love: They could share their favorite hobbies with you as a way to connect.
  • Comfortable Touch: Depending on their comfort level, they might show affection through hugs or holding hands once they feel comfortable with you.
  • Saying How They Feel: Although it might take some time, they can also tell you they love you in words, especially in writing or when they feel safe.

How to Support Your Partner with Asperger’s Syndrome

Building a strong relationship with someone who has Asperger’s Syndrome involves understanding, patience, and clear ways of communicating. Here’s how you can create a supportive and loving partnership:

  1. Educate yourself about Asperger’s: Knowing more about how it affects their behavior can help you understand your partner better.
  2. Use Clear Language: Say what you mean clearly since hints or indirect messages might not be understood.
  3. Be Patient: Remember, social situations can be tough for them. Show patience and empathy.
  4. Give Them space. If they need time alone, respect that. It’s not about you; it’s what they need to feel comfortable.
  5. Create a Routine: Having a predictable schedule for activities or dates can make things easier for them.
  6. Focus on the Positive: Celebrate what they do well and their unique perspective on life.
  7. Be Mindful of Sensory Issues: Choose places for dates that are comfortable for them, keeping in mind any sensitivity to noise or crowds.
  8. Help With Social Skills Gently: If they’re open to it, you can help them understand social cues, but always be kind and respectful about it.
  9. Talk About Expectations: Make sure you both know what you want from the relationship and how you show your feelings.
  10. Look for Support When Needed: Sometimes, talking to a professional or others in similar situations can provide helpful advice.
  11. Celebrate Together: Appreciate the milestones and achievements in your relationship, no matter how small.
  12. Listen Well: Show interest in their thoughts and hobbies. Being a good listener shows you care.
  13. Keep Doing What You Love: Stay engaged with your own interests, too. This keeps the relationship fresh and interesting.
  14. Try to Understand Their Point of View: Putting yourself in their shoes can help you understand why they react the way they do sometimes.
  15. Grow Together: A relationship is about learning and adapting together. Stay open to change and growth.

The Benefits of Dating Someone with Asperger’s

When you’re in a relationship with someone who has Asperger’s Syndrome, you might notice something really positive—they’re incredibly honest. People with Asperger’s tend to say exactly what they think and feel, without playing games or hiding their true thoughts. This honesty means you always know where you stand with them, making communication straightforward and building trust easier. While facing challenges together is part of any relationship, having a partner who’s loyal and open can make your bond stronger and more special.


Scroll to Top