12 Preschool Behavior Challenges and Simple Ways to Manage Them

Challenging behaviors in preschool are common, and they’re not just random outbursts. According to a study published in Pediatrics, about 10% to 15% of preschool-aged children show behavior issues that are intense enough to interfere with learning or social development. That’s not just the occasional meltdown, we’re talking about consistent, disruptive behavior that needs attention.

The thing is, these behaviors are usually a form of communication. Preschoolers are still figuring out how to express emotions, manage impulses, and follow group rules. Your job (as a parent, teacher, or caregiver) isn’t to control them, it’s to guide them.

Below are 12 real-world preschool behavior problems you’ll probably face, and some simple ways to handle them without losing your cool.

1. Hitting and Biting

This is one of the most intense challenging behaviors in preschool. When kids get overwhelmed, frustrated, or even just overexcited, they might lash out physically. Hitting and biting usually isn’t about being “mean”; it’s about not having the skills to express what they’re feeling or needing.

First, stay calm. That’s easier said than done, but your reaction teaches them how to respond when things go wrong. Get down to their eye level, speak clearly, and say something like, “We don’t hit. Hitting hurts.” Then give them another way to express their feelings. “If you’re mad, you can say ‘I’m mad!’ or stomp your feet.”

Later, when they’re calm, talk through what happened. Practice better ways to respond. Over time, they’ll get it. But consistency is key.

2. Refusing to Listen

Not listening is a top complaint when it comes to preschool behavior problems. You ask them to clean up, get dressed, or stop running, and they act like you’re invisible.

To handle preschool behavior problems like this, start by checking your approach. Shouting from across the room rarely works. Instead, go to them, get on their level, and make eye contact. Use simple, clear language. “It’s time to clean up now.” Not, “Would you maybe want to start thinking about putting the toys away?”

Give them a moment to process and follow through. If they resist, offer limited choices: “Do you want to clean up the blocks or the books first?” This gives them a bit of control, without changing the expectation.

3. Screaming or Yelling

Some preschoolers scream when they’re mad, others when they’re excited, and some just do it for the noise. Either way, it gets your attention, and that’s often the point.

Let them know you understand their feelings, but also set the limit: “I know you’re upset, but yelling isn’t how we ask for help.” Keep your tone calm and firm.

Don’t give in to the screaming; wait for a quieter voice before responding to requests. Teach them a quieter way to get attention (raising a hand, tapping your shoulder) and practice it often. Praise them when they use it.

4. Running Away

You say, “Stay with me,” and two seconds later they’re halfway across the playground. It’s not just frustrating, it can be dangerous.

Make the rule clear before the situation happens: “At the park, you have to stay where I can see you.” Then reinforce it with boundaries like “You can run between that bench and this tree.” If they run, don’t chase and turn it into a game. Bring them back and explain again.

Use consistent consequences, maybe a shorter park trip if they don’t follow safety rules. And when they do stay close, be sure to notice: “Thanks for staying near me. That helps us stay safe.”

5. Tantrums Over Small Things

The banana breaks in half and it’s the end of the world. These meltdowns over tiny things happen because preschoolers don’t yet know how to handle disappointment or change.

Don’t try to reason mid-tantrum. Let them ride it out safely. If needed, give them space to calm down. Afterward, talk through what happened and name the feeling: “You were really disappointed. That’s okay. Next time, let’s try taking a deep breath.”

You can also prevent some tantrums with routines, choices, and giving warnings before transitions: “In five minutes, we’ll turn off the tablet.”

6. Not Sharing

Preschoolers aren’t naturally great at sharing. It takes time and lots of practice, for them to learn how.

to deal with challenging behaviors in preschool like this, instead of forcing them to hand something over, teach turn-taking. Use a visual timer so they know when it’s their turn and when it’s time to give someone else a try.

Say things like, “You can play with it for two minutes, then it’s Maya’s turn.” That feels more fair than just taking it away. And when they do share, even a little, praise it: “Thanks for giving her a turn, that was kind.”

7. Interrupting Constantly

Preschoolers have thoughts and feelings they really want to share, and no idea how to wait. So they interrupt. A lot.

Explain what interrupting means in simple terms: “When two people are talking, we wait our turn.” Give them a tool to use while they wait, like placing their hand on your arm to signal they need you.

Practice this during calm times and reinforce it when they use it. You don’t need to ignore them completely, just say, “I see you waiting, thank you. I’ll talk to you in one minute.”

8. Saying “No” to Everything

Preschoolers are starting to assert their independence, and one of their favorite tools is saying “No.” To anything. Even stuff they actually want.

Avoid power struggles. Instead of pushing back with “You have to do it,” try giving them a bit of choice: “You don’t want to put your shoes on? OK, do you want to wear your sneakers or your boots?”

The goal is to let them feel a little control without changing the outcome. Keep your tone calm and avoid getting drawn into a debate. Stick with your expectations.

9. Throwing Toys or Food

Throwing is often a way for kids to let out frustration, test limits, or get attention. If they see a big reaction, they might keep doing it.
Be direct: “Toys are not for throwing. That’s not safe.” If they keep doing it, remove the item and offer a safer outlet: “You can throw this soft ball outside later.”

If the throwing is happening during meals or group play, it may be a sign they’re bored, overstimulated, or need a break. Step in early and redirect them before it escalates.

10. Withdrawing or Refusing to Join

Some kids don’t act out, they withdraw. They may avoid group activities, not speak up, or play alone all the time. This could be shyness, anxiety, or just needing a slower warm-up.

Don’t push them into groups right away. Start by inviting them to help you with a task or play near others. Build trust through one-on-one time and encourage them with low-pressure invitations: “You can join us if you want.”

Watch closely. If they’re regularly disconnected and it’s not improving, consider getting extra support. Kids who withdraw need just as much help as those who act out.

11. Lying or Blaming Others

They broke the crayon but say someone else did it. Or they insist they washed their hands when they clearly didn’t. Preschoolers lie sometimes, not because they’re sneaky, but because they don’t want to get in trouble.

Keep your response calm and focused on honesty. “It’s okay to make a mistake. I care more about you telling the truth.” Avoid big reactions or shaming. Teach them that telling the truth is safe, and mistakes are how we learn.

12. Saying Hurtful Things

“I don’t like you.” “You’re not my friend.” It stings to hear, even from a 4-year-old. These comments usually come out when emotions are high and kids want to push people away.

Call it out calmly. “That hurts feelings. If you’re angry, you can say, ‘I need space.’” Later, talk through why words matter and practice better ways to express frustration. Don’t force apologies, teach genuine repair instead, like checking in with a friend after things cool down.

Turning Preschool Challenges into Growth Opportunities

Here’s the real challenge: kids don’t come with pause buttons. You can’t mute them, fast-forward through the hard moments, or script the perfect response. What you can do is meet them where they are. Every outburst, refusal, or meltdown is a window into something deeper, a need, a limit, or a skill they haven’t mastered yet.

And while it’s tempting to see these behaviors as problems to fix, they’re really just signals. The goal isn’t to stop all the noise, it’s to understand what it’s trying to say. If you can approach preschool behavior problems with that mindset, you’ll respond with more clarity and a lot less frustration. You don’t have to be perfect, just present, consistent, and willing to learn right alongside them.